A couple weeks ago, my daughter was doing her math homework at the kitchen table while I was preparing dinner. I could see that she was struggling, but she didn’t say anything. After a while I asked her, “Do you need some help with your math?” If you’re a Gen X-er trying to help a contemporary elementary school child with their math, you know that I really wasn’t sure I could help her. Her math looks foreign to me. I mean, I get the answer, but not the way she is being taught. Nonetheless, I asked her, “Do you need some help?”
She said yes, and then I asked her, “Why didn’t you ask me for help? What are our family values?”
“Ask for help when we need it.”
It’s on that framed poster I told you all about a little while ago – where we list and recite our family values nearly every day.
So here’s the thing, I’m often better at reminding my daughter of these values than I am with myself. Because I could use some help and I haven’t asked for it. So this is me asking.
When I’m not parenting and teaching (and pushing e-paper) at the university, I’m on the road (or Zoom) speaking at conferences, meetings, seminars and other universities. I deeply enjoy sharing my journey and ideas with others, and bearing witness to the ideas and journeys of others.
What am I talking about? The same things I share with you in these emails.
I talk about loss, grief, mental wellness, faith, purpose and how to live – with some bumps along the way – with it all. And because I’m nerdy, all these things are grounded in the philosophy of change I study academically.
I’m looking to do more of this.
With other mission-driven professionals.
My jobs have always been driven by a sense of mission – camp counselor, community organizer, victim advocate, minister, teacher. Like many of you. It’s a joy and a privilege to be able to align one’s job with one’s vocation. I know what it’s like to love my work because of the change I hope to make in the world. But I also know that it’s hard. Our hearts get involved. Sometimes we see gains. Other times, losses. And burnout is real.
And I know that loss – whether it’s ours or the losses of the communities we work with – well it can make us question our purpose, sanity, sense of self. And most of us never got a class on how to manage it all.
After years of this work and studying loss, change and resilience, I believe it is possible to both accept that loss is part of growth and to also move through and forward with an adventurous spirit.
So I am teaching mission-driven professionals how to mitigate the anguish of loss and burnout so that they can successfully navigate change.
Do you need any help?
Yes. I need some help reaching decision-makers in mission-driven organizations. I’d like to talk to the people who organize conferences, trainings, and employee-retention efforts to see if we can work together. If you can help, please email me and let me know. I greatly appreciate it.
And in case you are wondering … I decoded that 5th grade math (even though the fractions looked wonky) and showed my daughter the process she should use on the problem set. Phew!
Monica
