Eden
The camera pans to a living room. Dark hues mute an anguished woman’s face as her body blends into the couch. Quiet, sentimental music crescendos. Voiceover: “Are you depressed?” One last shot at the blank, bleak face. Not two seconds later the world is technicolor, the music upbeat. The woman runs in a field, flying a kite, her body bursting with energy. Her children run beside her.
The voiceover returns: “Depression hurts.”
Little pills solve that problem.
Makes me want to throw my TV out the window.
There are a lot of things that bother me about these commercials. The thing that irks me today is the picture of depression. It’s solved so easily. And so quickly. The woman is on the couch for 10, maybe 15 seconds. Before you can reach for the remote, she’s okay. No, not just okay, she’s great!
I know they only have 30 seconds, but this image is worse than sit-coms that solve real problems in 22 minutes.
In real life, depression lacks drama and the simple arc of a hero’s quest.
That’s why there aren’t any movies about depression. Wait, you might say! What about Girl Interrupted, Wilbur (Wants to Kill Himself), Mad Love and On the Edge? I’d like to suggest that those movies aren’t really about depression. They’re about the institutions, the groups, and someone else’s reaction to someone’s suicide attempt. They aren’t about depression. Wanna know why?
Because depression is boring. It would be an hour and a half of the camera focused on someone lying on the couch, flipping channels on the television. Ennui lacks dramatic tension.
By its very nature, depression is isolating. Even if you’re around other people, you can feel completely alone. More often than not, depressed folk don’t want to be around other people. Because there’s so little to say; it’s so hard to explain. There’s no clear identifiable reason for the listlessness. Sometimes I want to be around other people, but I can’t summon the energy to get dressed and leave the house. It cuts us off from the world.
If there is any thing inherently evil about depression, this is it. Yes, evil. I’m loathe to use the word “evil” and depression in the same sentence, but I think it’s appropriate here. If there is something to be fought in depressions, it is the isolation. It is the seclusion. It is the way the mind turns in on itself to make one believe things that are not true: That you are completely alone.
While I value my solitude and moments of contemplation, I think that the message behind the creation story of Genesis 2 underscores the words, “It is not good for humans to be alone” (v. 18). My Hebrew scholar friends tell me that “good,” does not connote moral assessment. Rather when we read about creation and “goodness” in Genesis 1 and 2, it refers more to functionality.
It is not good.
It does not work.
We do not function well on our own.
We need community.
And I don’t think this is a Jewish and Christian thing. My friend (and composer) Andre interprets the third of ten Buddhist precepts in the same way:
“Our species has a drive passed down for thousands of generations to connect and to create.”
We are called to connect and to create.
If you know Buddhism, you’ll pause. The third precept is usually translated as “Abstain from sexuality.” The Zen Center of Los Angeles translates it as “Do not be greedy. Do not misuse sex. Be respectful.”
Likewise, Genesis continues with the edict to Adam and Eve in verse 22: “Be fruitful and multiply.” These words are usually interpreted to promote heterosexual procreative, population-increasing sex. Whether you agree with that interpretation or not, I think it’s noteworthy that the call to community is wrapped up in sex.
Sex is one way that we connect, and it is, especially to ancient peoples, a primary way that we create.
I read the message this way: Connecting creates. The ability to connect with other people, with ourselves, with our land, with our God . . . has creative power. It creates community. It creates health. It creates change. It creates art. And in its optimal manifestations, whether pro-creative or re-creative, sex connects. Sex strengthens bonds of intimacy. (Which is why there’s a level of ironic cruelty in the fact that so many anti-depressants diminish the sex drive.)
I’m not suggesting people use sex to form all interpersonal connections. I’m not intimating that depression is solved by sexual intimacy. But I think that there is something as primal about the need for connection as there is about the human sex drive. And anything – including depression – that robs of us our capacity to connect and to create is against God’s vision for our lives.
monica, i don’t know how to convey how much your post reflects the reality of my own embodied experience with my depression; all of it about how boring, isolating, and inexplicable depression is. and, i was just thinking last night about the creation story last night in relation to my depression and fraught efforts to be in community.
about films, the only moment in a film i can remember feeling like i saw some depiction of what my depression feels like was about 1 minute in shopgirl. the film isn’t about depression; in fact, it’s about what seems like its anti-thesis—finding connection and love. at one point, a functional protagonist [claire catherine danes] goes off her meds, and the result is that she ends up in bed for days. the elapsed time is implied by light changing. finally she reaches out by answering the phone. the solution is for her to go back on her meds, which she does and bounces right back. the months of acclimating aren’t shown, the trial and error isn’t shown, the weight gain and loss, isn’t shown, the muting of her sex drive isn’t shown, the emotional and psychological fear-anxiety-frustration-resignation of medication isn’t shown. but the main fact that isn’t shown in the commercials or in the movie is the fact that the depression is still an embodied experience even when on meds “that work.” this is part of the harm of the myth of those med commercials, which you so well articulated, monica. when i see them, i see an empty promise fraught with real risks. risks i am not willing to take—in this moment (but i might change my mind later, depending on circumstances).
in my experience, the depression doesn’t go away. i was still depressed when i was on meds, but i was functional. i could get out of bed when the alarm went off instead of rolling over and wishing i never had to get up. i could go to the gym instead lying for hours in bed staring out the window at lake michigan. i could focus and be super productive at work instead of sleeping in the backseat of my car during lunch. i could get through the day without crying. i could get on with the business of living, but i still wanted to die. i could appear “normal” and functional, but inside i still felt like i was in front of god, alone and punished. medication never made that go away. my therapist and psychiatrist didn’t make it go away. the trinity of meds, therapy, and psychotherapy taught me was how to cope.
i’m really grateful for the connections your blog facilitates, monica. im trying to live into not being ashamed about living with mental illness, and participating in your blog community supports me in my efforts. ashé
Really well done, Monica. Profound and true.
I can't agree more about your point regarding the inability to express in conversation or to capture on film or otherwise the incredible ISOLATION of depression. So very true.
Strong piece. Seclusion is evil, because it cuts people off from the life staining human contact that the human soul craves.
A very interesting take re connecting sex to depression. It posits a cause and effect relationship. I would think that a state of depression is anti-sex. I think I'm missing somethng.
I think that many would agree that those commercials are primarily a marketing strategy for pharmaceutical companies to sell people drugs to manage depressive symptoms. The overall message (and purpose) REALLY IS “look how good you can feel on our pills” as opposed to looking at the indepthness of the darkness of the disorder. I also think that one of the reasons there are not very many movies to adequately depict depression is because depression can show up in many different ways, in many different severities. Five different people can have depression and it look different in all of them. Diagnostically, there are four (specific) depressive disorders (Major Depressive Disorder – Single Episode and Recurrent – both of which have sub-types and different severities; Dysthymic Disorder; and Depressive Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). There are also several other disorders that can have a “depressive” component, such as bi-polar disorder, adjustment disorder, mixed-depressive anxiety disorder, etc. Moreover, sometimes psychotic disorders can mask depressive symptoms and vice versa, making it difficult to determine which disorder is causing the symptoms. Now, you might say, “Well, what difference does a diagnosis make? Isolation is still isolation. Sadness is still sadness. Being suicidal is still being suicidal.” I would agree wholeheartedly. As a clinician my first priority is to treat the symptom. I don't care much for diagnoses (for several reasons), but it always helps to understand if the person is isolative and suicidal because they are severely depressed or if they are isolative and suicidal because they are depressed about the paranoia and voices (that typically show up in disorders like schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder- which has a depressive and bipolar subtype – but can also show up in severe forms of depression).
In addition to there being different types of depression, I also think that the presentation of depressive symptoms can vary from culture to culture, as well as between men and women, making it difficult to capture in two hours or less. In many instances, men (when they decide to present for treatment) typically present to address “anger” issues. I think that this is because we socialize our men to get angry rather than to express emotions like sadness – as sadness can indicate that a person is “soft,” a “punk,” “gay,” or…a “woman.” I always tell people that anger is a first cousin to depression. If the depression is not dealt with, it can turn into other destructive problems like anger. But because men are socialized to be angry and not depressed, Hollywood has not addressed the issue. And why should they when society has clearly missed the mark? Though I have not seen the movies “On the Edge” and “Wilbur (Wants to Kill Himself),” I have seen “Girl Interrupted” and “Mad Love.” I think that one of the reasons that depression was so poorly depicted in those films (outside of the fact that dramatical effect was primary) was because the main focus was on bipolar disorder and the destructive behavior that can occur during manic episodes. (Quite frankly, though, I think that Angelina Jolie's character bordered on Borderline Personality Disorder.)
A couple of movies that come to mind that I really think look at issues like isolation and suicidal ideation from a more “realistic” (with less Hollywood “fluff”) perspective are “House of Fog and Sand” (with Jennifer Connelly) and Ordinary People (with a young Timothy Hutton and Donald Sutherland). Although filled with a lot of Hollywood “fluff” (and ethical violations by the psychiatrist, played by Barbara Streisand), Pat Conroy's “Prince of Tides” also does a pretty good job at demonstrating how “connection” can impact recovery. This movie also does a great job (once again, if you can get past the Hollywood drama) at showing how one's culture can impact how depression and trauma is defined and dealt with. This could potentially be because the movie (and book) is based heavily on Conroy's experiences.
Lastly, I would like to submit that I agree that making connections is very critical for depressed individuals – for all of us. Sex can be therapeutic and very cathartic (physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually), as well as a vehicle for connection and creation. Sex can also be very destructive. I think that it takes a certain level of judgment, insight, and honesty to obtain the “optimal manifestations” cited by Monica.